


Love Is...

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 14:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14570550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Barbara and Tommy reflect on just how far they have come since their initial meeting...





	Love Is...

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

I think we surprised a lot of people; we certainly surprised the hell out of each other. 

When we first met I was an angry and bitter person; a ball of resentment, misery and fury, lashing out at anyone who came too close, whereas you were an arrogant ponce; cocksure and confident, an earl with more money than he knew what to do with, and a person not used to being challenged or having his authority questioned.

We were a match made in Hell.

No one expected our partnership to last the case; not Webberley, not Nies, and certainly not us. We rubbed each up the wrong way, sniping and snarling our way through the investigation, not caring what the other thought. The whole thing was a car crash.

Until I broke down in front of you.

I didn’t let people see what was going on with me, scared to appear weak, frightened where that might lead, but you changed that. Somehow you found a small chink in my armour, microscopic though it was, and you reached through it, offering me if not friendship then understanding, and for some reason I accepted it.

And that changed everything.

We came to an unspoken agreement, an acceptance, a truce. We were under no illusion that we had been put together to break one or both of us, and we were determined not to let that happen. And so, we knuckled down.

As the years and cases passed our relationship evolved. A partnership became colleagues, colleagues became friends, and friends became…

Well, we’re still working on a definition for what exactly it is we share.

I never understood when people said someone was the centre of their world, I’d never had that. Until you. A man who was the complete antithesis of everything I related to turned out to be the one person it would kill me to lose, the one person I would walk over burning hot coals for, the one person I would protect and care for at any cost. You’ve become my everything; but I couldn’t tell you why, you just are, and for that I will always be grateful.

From being thrown together in an attempt to cause one or both of us to commit career suicide to being so close that not being in each other’s lives is incomprehensible has taken a lot of time and more than a little pain for both of us. There are things we would change, things that we would avoid completely, and things that turned out to be pivotal in making us the people we have become. We aren’t the people we were all those years ago, and neither of us are sorry about that.

I always thought that love was something other people got to experience, and that it would never happen to me.

I was wrong.

Love to me is Tommy Lynley. He is my everything and always will be.

_People didn’t expect us to last, and we would have been the first to agree with them._

_I was a fast track DI, used to yes men and having my orders followed without question. You were legendary as the scourge of all senior investigating officers; not one to follow the rules, forever challenging authority and ignoring instructions to go your own way._

_I’m sure that I was your idea of a living nightmare; I know that you were mine._

_I was determined to work with you to solve the case, and then to get as far away from you as humanly possible. You were just a stepping stone on my path to promotion, someone to utilise and then cast aside and, with the way you were acting, that couldn’t happen soon enough for me._

_But then, somehow, you managed to get under my skin. You stood up for me against Nies. You didn’t have to, there wasn’t anything in it for you, and I hadn’t ordered you to, in fact if I had I’m sure you would have told me to stuff it where the sun didn’t shine in words more suited to a navvy than a lady! You both piqued my interest and confused me; that had never happened before._

_I was intrigued by you, needing to know more about you, why you were so angry, and what caused the sadness in you that lurked under the surface, barely visible unless you looked very closely. I pried, probably more than I should, but I wanted to help you, a novel feeling for me._

_When you broke down in tears in front of me I was shocked. Despite the newness of our partnership, I understood that showing vulnerability did not come easily to you. It was the first sign of trust between us, and I took it as a positive._

_That one event changed me; changed my opinion of you. I saw someone I could work with, someone who would bring out the best in me, and who didn’t want anything from me except for me to do my job. It was a novel experience not to be wanted for my wallet or my title._

_Time passed, and our relationship grew. People didn’t understand, come to that we didn’t understand, but that wasn’t important, all that mattered was what we were to each other, not that we could give a name to what exactly that was._

_We were brought together by those in command to see which one of us broke first. I’m not sorry to say their plan failed, and I found someone who I’ve come to treasure more than anyone else, ever. Life without you in it is not something I want to think about, it terrifies me if I do. I don’t think I’d still be here, still be alive if it wasn’t for your presence and your friendship. I’d do anything for you._

_I always thought love equated ownership, that if you were really in love with someone you had to hold them close and never let them go. You showed me how wrong I was. Love is supporting someone so that they can become the person they were destined to be. Love is accepting the good times and the bad. Love is not being afraid to argue, and not being too stubborn to admit when you are wrong._

_Love to me is Barbara Havers. She is my everything and always will be._


End file.
